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” “No, I don’t want him beat up – and no finger-breaking, either. Jesus, Charlie!” I shook my head. “Look, he’s a pro, and he was just doing his job. I’m over-reacting and being an idiot, I know.” “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” “Yeah, well... The worst part? What really has me down today?” I told him about her calling out Derek’s name as she came, and how I had reacted, with white-hot rage and no control, and how horribly I had felt after…and still did, to a large degree. I’m not sure why I could talk to Charlie about it, except that we’d known each other a long time, and he’s had vastly more experience with women than I have! When I finished telling him everything, he just looked at me for a long time. “You didn’t hurt her, did you?” “No…but I felt like I wanted to. Scared the shit out of me.” We paused in our conversation as our food was delivered, and then he picked up where we’d left off. “Remember, I can have you beat up for a couple hundred bucks too…hell, if you ever. I’ll…..I’ll be down in a few minutes to dinner, just give me a few minutes,’ Robbie said. He was clearly humiliated and couldn’t think of what to say. I felt the same and thought that the space of a few minutes, his temporary solution to the problem of what should pass between mother and son and a moment like this, would be good and proper. ‘Fine,’ I said, ‘dinner will be ready in ten.’ I left the laundry basket I had been carrying upstairs and went down to the kitchen. I stirred pots that didn’t need stirring and went through other automatic tasks mindlessly. I was confounded by what to say to my son. Perhaps his father should be the one to talk to him, but his father was not at home. Jake left early in the morning, before Robbie or I awoke, and returned after dinner. His job kept him late these days as the flailing economy demanded more productivity from those who were lucky to keep their jobs. But bringing Jake into this would just cause more embarrassment, it would mean another.
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